Thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate it. I haven't really been avoiding social media at all, especially with feeling like it's a duty to answer questions from friends, family, and even news crews if I feel it's an okay question. But I definitely have taken a long time responding to a lot of people and in a lot of places in real life and online.
We are handling it probably pretty well considering the circumstances. Usually I'm out for vengeance and justice but in this case I don't even really feel any certain hate for the "other guy". While nothing justifies what he did, besides self-defense (which it obviously wasn't in this case), I still wasn't there and don't know what happened, so I'm just going to wait as peacefully as I can for the next step of the judicial system to do its thing. I will make sure justice is served and if I feel the penalty is right then I will erase the guy from my memory. If it isn't, such as in the case of California only giving him 3 years (highly unlikely but I've heard of it happening for first time offenders), then well, we will go from there.
My mom and brother and I are pretty strong about this whole thing, and maybe even taking it better than my uncles. My dad passed away last year so it seems like we're getting picked off one by one but I welcome the universe to try and shut the rest of us down. I'm going down fighting for sure, and it's definitely not going to be in the same way as my brother. He was a misguided but nice guy, and literally not even in his/our city. He was in a piece of shit area where his storage unit was, and I hate Fairfield with a lot of my heart and always have. He should have been back in Benicia near my mom.
Another chapter of weird universe doing weird things. I'm not going to dwell on it longer than feels natural, and definitely not going to hold anything in. But as it is, it's been exactly a week or a bit more, and I feel... okay. So thanks for all the words, they help a lot.