And speaking of Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church and author of The Purpose Driven Life…
My life's purpose over the last week was reading thousands of proposed new definitions for "saddlebacking" sent in by my readers. As with the new definition of santorum crafted by Savage Love readers ("the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes a byproduct of anal sex"), the new definition of "saddlebacking" has to be some act that 1) needs a name but doesn't already have one (we can't just rename "reverse cowgirl," people) and 2) is naughty enough to discomfort, say, a Reverend Warren, but something that actual people might actually do because that's the only way the actual word will actually get used.
So I've disqualified proposed definitions that were too literal ("putting an actual saddle on someone's actual back and actually riding them"), too gross ("to crap on someone's back and then sit on it, moving forward and back while making horse-riding-related noises like 'giddyap!' and 'whoa!'"), too complicated ("one person on all fours with a strap-on strapped to their midsection, a second person riding said strap-on, and a third person hitting the first person from behind while holding on for dear life/giving a handjob to the second person"), or too bitter ("when you give someone some kind of basic human right, like marriage, and then take it away again after a few months"). Here are the proposed definitions that made the cut: