Author: Phate <@bc>     Reply to Message
Date: 7/16/2003 6:35:33 AM
Subject: Signs you've been drinking too much.

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job interferring with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. You think you can actually do the moonwalk with a pint in your hand.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. When you can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The car park seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. Every woman/man you see has an exact twin.
13. You fall off the floor...
14. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
15. You think "Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!"
16. The glass keeps missing your mouth!
17. Jade (from the last big brother) starts to make sense.
18. Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you [also mosquitoes!]
19. At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
20. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
21. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
22. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
23. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].
24. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
25. You say "Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."
26. I'm not drunk... you're just sober... - HI OCIFER!!!!!!
27. Chris Evans looks good.
28. Don't recognise wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass.
_