This couple had only been married for two weeks. The
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to
go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his
old buddies, so he says to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going, coochy coo...?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have
a beer."
The wife says to him, "You want a beer, my love?" Then
she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him
25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different
countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only
thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie
loolie...but the bar....you know.....the frozen
glass..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife
interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass,
puppy face?" She takes a huge beer mug out of the
freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding
it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie
roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres
that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be
right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochie poo?" She opens the
oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors
d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom
caps, pork strips, etc.
"But, sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the
swearing, the dirty words and all that..."
"You want some dirty words, cutie pie?... here,
SIT THE FUCK DOWN -
DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG -
EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS -
YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE FUCKING BAR!!!!!
GOT IT ASSHOLE?!?!?!?!?!?!
